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3 alternatives to a New Year’s resolution!

December 31, 2012 in change, choices, resolutions with 1 Comment

image via sobadsogood.com

As you know, 2013 is upon us – waiting to be unleashed. This is traditionally the time we reflect on last year and set goals for the coming year. That’s good, right? Well… If you’re like me, there’s something dissatisfying about an old-fashioned New Year’s resolution. Mostly, because they rarely stick.

Here are three alternatives to a resolution that might bear more fruit in our lives in 2013:

A SIMPLE STEP: Be realistic. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy in this resolution thing. We’ve been good at setting lofty, unrealistic and unachievable goals that set us up for failure. What if we set out to do something we could finish this week or by the end of January? Then repeat the process.
A QUALITY DECISION: Resolutions sometimes fail because we are missing the resolution it takes to see them through to completion. What can you really commit to working on for the long-haul? The best resolutions are the ones that stick. They stick because we are actually committed to following through on them.
A NEW YEAR’S REVOLUTION: What if you made a commitment to making life better for others, then taking them on that journey with you? Maybe it’s time to think less inward and more outward. Be inspiring. Start a movement.

Did any of these speak to you? Which one(s) can you (and will you) incorporate into your 2013 strategy?

Beautify your own life

November 21, 2012 in character, choices with 1 Comment

“Instinctively and naturally, if you beautify your own life, you beautify the life of everybody around you.” ~ Frank Lloyd Wright

Thanksgiving is upon us. Turkey, dressing, pie… and family. And for some of us, family stress. And relationships that push all the wrong buttons in you.

This Thanksgiving, what if we focused more on what we can to to be better and do better – as Frank Lloyd Wright said, “beautify” our own life, first.

Let’s make Thanksgiving beautiful and memorable for others.

Let’s be our best us.

5 thought provoking questions

November 1, 2012 in change, choices, questions with 2 Comments

Via So Bad So Good

Here are five thought provoking questions for you today:

What would you do differently, if you knew nobody would judge you?
If you had a friend who talked to you the same way that you talk to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?
Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards and just do what you know is right?
What is the difference between living and existing?

Share your answers with us if you dare. Or… at least answer them to yourself and act on them.

For 13 more thought provoking questions click here.

How do we really change?

August 23, 2012 in change, choices, decisions with 0 Comments

“Change is not a bolt of lightning that arrives with a zap. It is a bridge built brick by brick, every day, with sweat and humility and slips. It is hard work, and slow work, but it can be thrilling to watch it take shape.” ~ Sarah Hepola

I think deep inside, we all want to change. I also think we all want to be hit with the proverbial bolt of lightning. It’s easier that way.

Less work.

Less pain.

Less effort.

Real change comes from making and keeping quality decisions, day after day, week after week. Real change happens as we learn to take our proper role in owning the outcomes of our choices. Real change comes over time.

Sometimes it’s hard to see it happen in yourself, but easy to see in others.

Sometimes it’s easier to look at others and think it was easier for them.

It wasn’t.

It was just as hard for them as it is for you.

Change begins with a desire. It’s fueled by commitment and consistency, often over time.

Be patient.

Trust that it’s working.

Be accountable to someone.

Listen to them.

And… stay with it.

15 things you should say “no” to!

March 12, 2012 in choices, decisions, distraction with 7 Comments

Just say “no” to:

Hate
Sarcasm
Mocking
Laziness
Fear
Conformity
Grudges
Selfishness
Insignificance
Ambiguity
Comparison
Apathy
Hamster Wheels
Ignorance
Giving Up

(Dis)honorable mention:

Clowns
Papyrus Font
Clip Art
Dressing your pets

Questions:

What’s something good that should go on our “yes” list???

Why should we add it?

What to do when you’re stuck

January 17, 2012 in change, choices with 4 Comments

illustration via Jaco Haasbroek

At one time or another, we all feel stuck. When you think you’re stuck, one of the first things to go is your creativity. Or at least we feel like our creativity goes AWOL. I’m not so sure that we really lose our creativity, though. I think it may more like actually losing interest or misplacing our sources of inspiration.

Whether you’re an entrepreneur, artist, designer, musician, idea person or ________, we all find ourselves stuck sometimes. You can’t find stuck on Google Maps, but it’s a very real place. It’s just down the road from “too busy” and “overwhelmed,” and just across the street from “tried everything you can think of.” It’s a very real place. At least it’s real in our thinking. And when it is real in our thinking, it can seem more real than our actual reality. Therein lies the problem.

At any given time our perception of reality can be skewed by fatigue, frustration and overload. That’s why stuck can seem so very stuck, especially the longer we allow ourselves to stay there. We tend to think of being stuck as a condition, so we look for a cure or perhaps a prescription to put it in remission.

That’s the wrong approach.

Stuck isn’t a condition requiring a cure, it’s a location requiring a decision. Decision? What decision? Getting unstuck requires you to decide that you don’t like being stuck. Getting unstuck requires that you decide it’s time to move on to a more productive place. Getting unstuck requires that you make a decision to go home.

So is it really that easy?

Kinda.

Fatigue, frustration and overload shared your cab ride to stuck. You were introduced to them when you took on cares and responsibilities which never really belonged to you in the first place. Maybe your passion got the best of you. Maybe you got impatient. Maybe you just tried to bulldoze your way through a difficult situation. Whatever the specifics of your story might be, there is a common exit strategy that works for all of us who are stuck.

Here it is: Change something.

Change something you can actually change, instead of getting frustrated with the things you can’t change. We all see things that need to change. The question is, “What can YOU change?”

Start somewhere.

Make a change.

Even a little change is change. You can’t stay stuck when you are changing.

So what are you going to do about it? Are you ready to leave stuck? What can you change?

Why I don’t believe in “resolutions”

January 2, 2012 in change, choices, decisions, impact with 4 Comments

The New Year is a great time to reflect, make adjustments and positive improvements in our lives. The break at the holidays is a great time to set goals, plan and renew commitments. The problem I have with New Year’s “resolutions” is they are well intentioned, but very few people follow through on them for very long.

I think it’s because we don’t know what resolution means.

Webster’s dictionary defines resolution as:

the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler ones
the act of answering : solving
the act of determining

Determination. That’s what seems to be missing from most resolutions. Determination, commitment, follow-through, action, consistency – call it whatever you want, but this is what makes the difference between life-change and an abandoned list of “probably should” items. There’s a huge difference between knowing what you should do and doing it.

An actual “resolution” is a quality decision, from which there is no retreat. It is a guiding document, setting a course for the coming year or years.

It’s probably time to put some resolve in your resolutions. Perhaps we should re-visit our lists and be honest with ourselves regarding our plans to execute them.

I’m sure you gathered this by now, but I really do believe in resolutions. I believe in the real kind. That is what will change our lives.

So…

What is the one thing you are committed and resolved to do or become this year?

How will you get there?

5 Lessons From My Sabbatical

November 7, 2011 in choices, priorities, Rest with 3 Comments

We went on a short getaway last summer to rest and refresh. I fully intended to take some of that time to write and be creative. I thought we would just take a few days away, and step back into life as usual.

Not so much.

Here we are, five months later, and I am just now writing my first blog since our “little getaway.” It’s not that I forgot I had a blog. I felt it talking to me almost every day, at least in the beginning of my hiatus. It’s not that I didn’t feel the responsibility to this tribe. I thought about you often during the break.

I took a sabbatical from blogging for several reasons. I had run out of things to say. My “day job” as a pastor was demanding more of my attention, thought and prayer life. I was tired. I lacked focus. I needed some time. I needed real refreshing. I wanted more family time.

Five months is a long time to think about stuff, and honestly it took quite a while to even get back to ground zero. I have some takeaways from my sabbatical that I hope will help you.

1. Adrenaline is a powerful drug.

The human body is amazing, giving us the ability to power through situations and sometimes even gain superhuman strength from a hormone called adrenaline. It was meant to help us in times of crisis. I was living on it. Wrong answer.

2. Learn when and how to graciously say “no.”

I am a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me. Added to that, I like helping people. That has led me to seasons of over-commitment and overloading my plate. I can’t do everything. I can’t fix everything. Sometimes “no, thank you” is the right answer. I am learning how and when to pull that card.

3. Pace is more important than I thought.

I want to live a long, healthy life. That will require me to slow down and be more realistic with the tempo of my life. By the end of this year I will have taken more vacation and personal time than in any year previous. I’m embarrassed to say it, but I’ll also be taking my FIRST two-week vacation in my adult life.

4. You can only have a few priorities.

Author and speaker Jim Collins (Good to Great, Built to Last) has said that if you have more than three priorities, you have NO priorities. I have been taking time to pray, think and meditate on what is important to me, and limit my priorities to just a few. I can and should only do my part, and to do it well, I need to be more focused.

5. There’s no place like home.

After my commitment to God, my first and foremost commitment is to my family. Thank God we have a good and healthy one. I want to keep it that way. My family and my home are a shelter and sanctuary for me. I’m more determined than ever to spend quality time with the ones I love the most.

It’s good to have something to say again. It’s good to be with you. It’s good to be back.

Let’s help and learn from one other. Have you had any awakenings this year that will help us? Post a comment and let’s talk!

Choose Wisely

May 5, 2011 in choices, decisions with 4 Comments

Life is a series of choices. Our lives, families and careers are products of the choices we have made. The choices we make today are paving a road ahead of us. Those choices may not have instant results, but they always result in either life or death, Heaven or Hell being released in our lives.

I pray that you receive mercy for the poor choices of your past.

I pray that you make wise choices today.

I pray that you learn to discern life and death before they fully bloom.

“Don’t be misled–you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.” ~ Galatians 6:7

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” ~ Deuteronomy 30:19

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” ~ John 10:10

Run Your Awesome Ideas Through This Filter

February 16, 2011 in change, choices, planning with 1 Comment

Order this poster at despair.com

“Any change, even a change for the better,

is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.”

~ Arnold Bennett (British novelist, playwright, and essayist 1867-1931)

Change is good, right? Well… good, well-timed, properly planned, immaculately executed change is good. But even good change can be a difficult and painful process.

Some people just don’t do change well, either. While it is invigorating to some, it terrorizes others. You shouldn’t avoid necessary change to appease the fearful, but there are some steps you can take to ease the pain – and let’s face it, pain is a companion to change. That’s why some just refuse to do it. That’s not a viable option. Change is a necessary for growth.

However, as necessary as it may be, it is nearly impossible to implement change without some kind of collateral damage. As a leader, it is your responsibility to calculate the risks and think about how change may adversely affect your organization or the people in it. It’s your job to manage the change, not to be the bulldozer (as tempting as it may be sometimes.)

Here some thoughts on easing the pain of change:

Recognize that change affects the entire organization in one way or another. It ripples out beyond the intended target.

Invite others into the change. Let them “buy-in.” Get the input of others, then weigh their comments and suggestions. Sometimes just having the forum to speak into it is enough for the hard to please.

Build time in the planning for the change to “sink-in” wherever possible.

Set realistic short-and long-term goals and stick to them.

OVERCOMMUNICATE. Do it again. Then do it some more. Keep repeating this step until others in your organization can and will communicate the plan, too.

Leave room in your plans for real world tests, and measure the actual pros and cons.

Learn to recognize the difference between negative feedback and sabotage. There is a huge difference. Pushback can be your friend in the process.

I would love to hear your thoughts on change. Let’s learn together. Comment about what has worked and what hasn’t. What are your change experiences?

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