fear | scottjallen.com

Archive - fear RSS Feed

Do you have FOMO?

April 23, 2013 in fear with 2 Comments

Do you have FOMO?

No, not the hairdo – that would be a faux hawk.

FOMO… So do you have it or not? If you do, would you admit it?

FOMO is an abbreviation for the “fear of of missing out.” FOMO.

When I was a kid, I was just sure that as soon as I went to sleep something cool would happen and I’d have to find out about it later – probably shared with the “you had to be there” added on just to rub it in. Even as an adult, touring in a band, I was rarely among the first to go to bed. Same reason. FOMO. I liked to be right in the middle of whatever was happening.

So, do you recognize it yet? Or should I continue?

If you’re honest, you’ll admit that the likely cause of your addiction to Facebook, Twitter, texting and manic email checking is FOMO. Having technology beeping in our pockets and alerts in front of us nearly all day feeds FOMO. Many of us aren’t even aware of it. Here’s a good gut check: when you post a new status on Facebook or a new picture on Instagram, how concerned are you about checking, rechecking and refreshing to see the likes and comments?

C’mon. Be honest.

I thought I had FOMO under my feet and out of my life only to find it in my thought process the other day. I was meditating on some important something and, right in the middle of it, started irrationally thinking about what I might miss if I went a certain direction. Never mind the pluses of going that direction, or even taking comfort in the fact that God was leading me in it.

I’m sure it was just my mind trying to be a big help, but… not so much.

OK, FOMO: back under my feet.

Marketers play people by exploiting FOMO. Manipulators will manipulate people with it. Even well intentioned people can sidetrack others with it if they aren’t cautious about it.

So what’s the lesson? Be aware of it. Resist it.

Renew your mind and put FOMO under your feet.

So, how will you combat it?

In the wake of Boston

April 16, 2013 in encouragement, faith, fear, Spirituality with 2 Comments

As I write this, I’m watching the unfortunate events of the Boston Marathon unfold before our nation. I’m sure by the time you read this there will be a lot more known than what is known right now.

Here’s what I do know, and this won’t change:

God is good, only good, and His plans are good – His plans are for our peace and well-being, never evil (Jeremiah 29:11)
It’s the devil who comes only to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10)
We don’t have to be afraid (Psalm 3:6, Psalm 91:5)
God hears and delivers from fear (Psalm 34:4)
God comforts us in the midst of trouble so we can comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:14)

Would you pray this with me today?:

“God, we put our trust in You. You are our hope, our deliverance, our refuge. We pray for all affected by the events in Boston and surround them with faith and love. We pray wisdom and help for all those in leadership politically, in law enforcement and security. We thank you for leading and directing their steps. We pray for our fellow citizens. As you comfort us, we will comfort others. Make us a source of light, life and strength today to all who enter our sphere of influence. We humble ourselves before you, turn from our own ways and turn to You and Your ways. As we do this in sincerity, we believe you can and will heal our land.”

How to make things better!

March 19, 2013 in fear, hesitation, ideas with 0 Comments

How can you make things better?

“Avoid compulsively making things worse.” ~ Debbie Millman

On the surface this seems like a no-brainer. “Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

Think about it for a minute.

Have you ever been on the verge of doing something amazing, and something inside you made it self-destruct?

Think for another minute before you answer.

Or judge.

Let me just say that there have been a few times that I’ve been on the edge of something and because of one concern or another starting second guessing it. One time it was a recording session. We had spend hours building this masterpiece of a rock guitar intro. It was this massive sound I had been hunting for my entire life. It was so cool. Then I started to think that maybe it was too cool, especially for a Christian rock album. But it was really cool. But maybe no one else would get it. The more I second guessed it, the more I talked myself out of it.

Moments later we erased it. Gone. Forever. You will never hear it.

Boom.

I compulsively made it worse.

There. I admitted it. I’m not proud of it, but I’ve been there, done that and bought the t-shirt.

Anyone else care to join the conversation? What are your experiences along these lines? How do you “avoid compulsively making things worse?”

Lose the fear!

October 30, 2012 in courage, fear, focus, work with 1 Comment

“To live a creative life we must first lose the fear of being wrong.” ~ Joseph Chilton Pearce

Fear of being wrong can cause you to get stuck faster that most anything. It will cause you to question yourself, second guess your own decisions and undermine your confidence in your ability to get the job done.

When you’re creating something, the best way to be wrong is doing nothing. Doing something affords us all the opportunity to learn, change and grow. Refusing to move means we sit on the sidelines for the whole game and wonder later what could have been.

Break free.

Launch out.

Do something.

Grow.

It’s your move.

June 5, 2012 in fear, risk with 7 Comments

“There’s as much risk in doing nothing as in doing something.” ~ Trammel Crow

It’s good to know what time it is…

It’s good to know whose turn it is…

It’s good to know what’s coming next…

It might be your turn.

It might be time to take action.

The ball might be in your court.

It might be your move.

Take a risk.

Make a move.

Be brave.

Be bold.

Be you.

You are not a failure!

April 19, 2012 in creative, encouragement, fear with 4 Comments

Failure isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you.

The fear of failure could be, though. The fear of failing could cause you to not even try. It could cause you to hold back. It could cause you to value winning more than contributing. It also could cause you to quit.

You haven’t quit, have you?

You can quit without most people noticing.

You can even get away with it for a while. Except on the inside, that is. Only you know for sure if the fear of failure is causing you to back down, withhold or stop trying.

It’s not too late for you to change it. It’s not too late to for you to get back on your game. It’s not too late for you. Period.

Let’s get something straight – failure isn’t really failure unless you quit. Really quit. Like… quit for good kind of quit.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” ~ Henry Ford

I agree.

I think you should begin again, this time more intelligently.

It beats quitting.

Taking ourselves too seriously?!

March 27, 2012 in attitude, fear, humor with 3 Comments

“Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play.” ~ Heraclitus

I think we take ourselves too seriously.

WAY too seriously.

We want everything to be perfect. We want everything to be right. We want people to like us and like our work. We want to be respected. We want our work to be respected. We want to hit the mark. We don’t want people to be disappointed with us. We are afraid of making mistakes. We want people to think we have it together.

We are too uptight. We are too serious.

Others sense it, too.

We are failing to see life as a journey of learning and discovery. We are so concerned about losing face that we often keep our best ideas and our best work to ourselves. Our fear of rejection and criticism causes us to be touchy and bristle at any pushback we get from others. Even when people are trying to help us and offer constructive thoughts, we receive it as rejection.

We derive too much value from our work.

We have a problem.

Our sense of competition, or lack thereof, has caused us to lose joy in seeing others succeed. This often manifests as passive-aggressive attitudes and comments toward others. It sometimes manifests in shutting down and losing the desire to offer ourselves as a part of the equation. We don’t want to try, and it upsets us when we see others trying. It’s especially unsettling when someone else voices what we have been thinking and withholding. Extra especially when it’s received well by others.

We should stop it.

We should stop it today.

Let’s rediscover joy. Let’s rediscover our sense of humor. Let’s be willing to laugh at ourselves. It will help us. It will also help others around us. After all, nobody wants to deal with a human time bomb.

“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher

We need to lighten up.

You need to lighten up.

Please.

The truth about feeling invisible

November 21, 2011 in encouragement, fear, respect with 3 Comments

Insignificant.

Insufficient.

Invisible.

These are the lies we believe about ourselves, sometimes. These are the lies we convince ourselves others believe about us, too. We spend hours, days, weeks, months and years convinced of falsehoods which could be easily cleared up in an honest conversation. For some reason, we don’t even want to have that conversation that will set it all in perspective.

Why do we insist on believing lies that enslave, debilitate and paralyze us?

They give us an excuse. They give us an out. They make it easier for us to not even try. They make it someone else’s fault, someone else’s problem.

If we don’t try, we can’t fail. If we don’t try, we can continue to believe it’s someone else’s fault. If we don’t try, we don’t really ever have to prove to anyone that we have the goods… especially ourselves. Ourselves? Could that be the problem? Really?

Am I saying that I think we are afraid to prove to ourselves that we have the goods? Am I saying that I think we are afraid to prove to skeptics that we have the goods? Am I saying that we think odds are stacked against us that may actually NOT be stacked against us?

Yes, yes, and yes.

The problem is plain and simple: risk is just too risky. It’s easier for us to continue to believe we are insignificant, insufficient and invisible AND to believe others think we are insignificant, insufficient and invisible.

Convenient. Convenient and devilish. Convenient and devilish and debilitating.

“We scouted out the land from one end to the other-it’s a land that swallows people whole. Everybody we saw was huge... Alongside them we felt like grasshoppers. And they looked down on us as if we were grasshoppers.” Numbers 13:32-33 (MSG)

So… are you feeling like a grasshopper among giants in a land that swallows people whole?

You’re not a “grasshopper.” You are unique, precious and full of amazing potential.

Think we look down on you? We don’t. We really just want you believe the truth about yourself.

The truth is:

You are not insignificant. You are not insufficient. You are not invisible.

The truth is:

We want to cheer you on. We want to see you win.

What will it take for you to really believe it?

Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone!

March 15, 2010 in change, fear, risk with 0 Comments

Pacifiers, blankets and favorite stuffed animals – all can be comforts for little ones. News flash: big people have comfort zones too. Grown-ups actually may be more attached to our comforts than children are to theirs.

I would be concerned if I saw you using a pacifier. I would be equally concerned if you grasped a well-worn stuffed animal during difficult meetings or stressful days at work. Forgive the disturbing image: what if someone insists you leave those things behind and you respond with a giant toddler meltdown? Can you say emergency counseling session?

Ridiculous as the illustration may seem, many of us hesitate to get out of our comfort zones when it’s “show time.” Great opportunities escape some of us because we are far too concerned with familiarity. Why are we so obsessed with comfort? Shouldn’t we be more adventurous? At least a little?

What opportunities could you seize today if you were willing to leave the familiar?

If the thought of stepping out tempts you to have an aforementioned meltdown, don’t show us. We’ll never know the difference. Just step out and we’ll all think you are some kind of brave somebody. You *are* some kind of brave somebody, aren’t you?

I thought so.

“When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” 1 Corinthians 13:11 (NLT)

Take The Plunge

February 23, 2010 in change, fear, risk with 2 Comments

The tipping point. The point of no return. Commitment.
These three things strike fear in the hearts of those who like the status quo. Why, even when we need things to change, are we so often unwilling to set change in motion?

“What if I do the wrong thing, mess up and actually make it worse?”

Inaction will NEVER get something unstuck. It’s a widely accepted natural law. Newton’s first law (the law of inertia) states:
An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.

Need something unstuck? Unstick it. Need to slow something down or stop it? Resist it. Not rocket science by any stretch of the imagination. This is a principle taught sometimes as early as grade school. So why do we have such a hard time applying it?

Work. Sometimes hard work. Fear. Sometimes paralyzing fear.

Do you remember the first time you jumped off a diving board in the pool? You likely had to be coaxed. At least I did. My experience went something like this:

Gingerly walk out near the end.
Think about it.
Curl toes over the edge.
Think about it some more.
Get back off the diving board.
(repeat ad infinitum)
Finally: just jumped in.

My first roller coaster experience was similar. I was little. My Uncle lied to me: “It’s not bad.” When I got buckled in, he said “it’s bad.” Too late. Already chugging up the first hill. White knuckled. Bracing for the worst. Then… LOVED IT. Why had I resisted it?

Change wasn’t going to happen by itself. It still doesn’t. It requires a commitment.

If you want change, make a change. Get over yourself and take the plunge.

Page 1 of 212 »

Twitter

Blogroll