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How to get rid of your stress

October 2, 2012 in responsibility, Rest, trust with 1 Comment

Stress. Been there. Done that. Designed the t-shirt.

I bet you have, too.

In a recent “aha moment” I discovered a huge source of stress in my life. Since I know I’m not the only one who has ever dealt with this, I thought I would share it with you. Maybe it will help you like it helped me. I hope so.

My big revelation went something like this.

There are some things I can affect. Others I can’t. Apparently sometimes I forget the latter. Responsibility is a big deal with me. I take my work, calling, relationships and assignments very seriously.

Sometimes too seriously.

Sometimes I take on the care of things I can’t really affect. Whenever I catch myself doing that, it’s a great time to humble myself and admit there are many things above my pay grade. Actually, above the grace given me to do MY PART. If doing my part won’t affect the perceived problem, I have to know that it’s beyond my grace, beyond my influence, beyond my control.

Stress comes in when I insist on going out beyond my grace and assignment, assuming the responsibility of others. That, my friends is a recipe for pressure.

Time to humble myself again. Time to rest in the grace given for my assignment.

Here are two great tests of humility, both of which I have recently failed. Honestly ask yourself how you look in the mirror of these scriptures:

“My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.” ~ Psalm 131:1 (NIV

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment…” ~ Romans 12:3 (NIV)

Anyone care to join me today as I humble myself, do my part and trust God with the rest?

My prayer for you today

September 6, 2012 in faith, Rest, Spirituality with 2 Comments

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good–not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne. (Matthew 11:28-30 AMP)

Rest.

Relief.

Ease.

Refreshment.

Recreation.

Quiet.

Who doesn’t want that?

Who doesn’t NEED that?

It’s available today.

To you.

You should take it.

This is my prayer for you today.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)

How’s your Labor Day?

September 3, 2012 in family, Rest, work with 1 Comment

One hundred thirty years ago (1882) Americans began celebrating Labor Day as a “workingmen’s holiday.”

For most of us it’s a long weekend, maybe a short getaway or family cookout.

How are you celebrating it this year?

Let there be rest!

June 4, 2012 in Rest with 0 Comments

“Let my soul be at rest again, for the LORD has been good to me.” Psalm 116:7 (NLT)

We spent months and weeks of planning and preparing for our daughter’s wedding. We invested countless hours of crafting and building labors of love. It seems like it has been non-stop since I can’t remember when. This last week brought many late nights and early mornings fueled by love and lots of coffee and adrenaline.

It was all worth it. A beautiful bride, a gorgeous wedding and a joyful celebration began a new chapter in our family. And in the midst of it, God was present, showing his goodness and kindness to us all. She is married. We are thankful.

Now comes the resting. Resting our bodies at home, and resting our souls in the goodness of the Lord.

In your busyness, don’t forget to rest. Let yourself recover and take time to remember God’s goodness.

Here, there and everywhere!

May 29, 2012 in family, gratitude, Rest, thankfulness with 6 Comments

This Friday our daughter Nicole is getting married to the man of her dreams. We are thrilled for the two of them. What a team!

I’m sure you can imagine the level of chaos in our lives and in our home this week as all of the final preparations are being made. Dinners with family (Happy Birthday, Mom), errands, wedding set-up, airport runs, reception set-up, cakes, flowers, more errands, rehearsal, rehearsal lunch, more errands and (last but not least) lot’s of checks being written.

In the midst of all of this activity we are remembering to stop, breathe and be thankful. God is faithful. We are grateful for all He is doing in and with us this week. Busy is okay sometimes if there’s purpose in it. Trust me, there’s plenty of purpose going on here… our family is growing. I’ll have a new son in just a few days.

So as we go about our week of preparation, know we are enjoying the Lord, enjoying each other and enjoying our lives.

Here, there and everywhere – here we come!

What a thrill.

Sleep? Who needs it?! You do!!!

May 8, 2012 in burnout, distraction, Rest with 4 Comments

“Personally, I enjoy working about 18 hours a day. Besides the short catnaps I take each day, I average about four to five hours of sleep per night.” ~ Thomas Edison

Brilliant as he was, Edison was wrong about this one. If you identify with his statement, you’re wrong too. And dangerous. And DRUNK.

Drunk? Yep.

Maybe I should explain. Research shows that trying to function on a lack of sleep will give you the mental capacity of a serious drinker. Actually, more like a drunk. Your thoughts will be fuzzy, with no real clarity. You know… like… drunk. Really drunk.

BBC Science recently reported the following findings on sleep deprivation:

“With continued lack of sufficient sleep, the part of the brain that controls language, memory, planning and sense of time is severely affected, practically shutting down. In fact, 17 hours of sustained wakefulness leads to a decrease in performance equivalent to a blood alcohol level of 0.05% (two glasses of wine). This is the legal drunk driving limit in the UK.”

Ouch.

They go on to say…

“Research also shows that sleep-deprived individuals often have difficulty in responding to rapidly changing situations and making rational judgements. In real life situations, the consequences are grave and lack of sleep is said to have been be a contributory factor to a number of international disasters such as Exxon Valdez, Chernobyl, Three Mile Island and the Challenger shuttle explosion.”

There you have it. You would never allow yourself to stay drunk on the job, drunk behind the wheel, drunk all the time. At least I hope you wouldn’t.

You should take a serious look at your own sleep deprivation.

Sleep is not a luxury. You were built to require it. It’s time you started paying attention to your need for it. Ignorance is dangerous. So are you if you ignore the warning signs your body and mind are giving you.

I hope this post inspires you to re-think your relationship with sleep… and the get some. As soon as possible.

Have you had a dangerous close call because of exhaustion? What was it?

The Healing Power of Rest

March 15, 2012 in faith, priorities, Rest with 4 Comments

“People who cannot find time for recreation are obliged sooner or later to find time for illness.” ~ John Wanamaker

John Wanamaker was no stranger to initiative, work ethic and a busy life. At the time of his death in 1922, the self-made philanthropist had amassed a $100million fortune. In today’s economy, he would have been a billionaire. Mr. Wanamaker was no fool. He understood that a busy life of hard work required regular rest. Being a man of faith, he would have likely known about a commanded rest – the Sabbath.

“Work six days. The seventh day is a Sabbath, a day of total and complete rest, a sacred assembly. Don’t do any work. Wherever you live, it is a Sabbath to God.” (Leviticus 23:3 MSG)

The Hebrew word for Sabbath is Shabbat. It comes from a root meaning to cease, to end, or to rest.

There you have it. God intended for us to take one day a week, every week, to rest, enjoy our lives and reset. Sabbath carries the connotation of ceasing from our work, from our normal pace – stopping completely. The Jews in Israel take it very seriously. From Friday sundown to Saturday sundown everything shuts down. You better not need any last minute something from the store or gas in your car. Forget going out to eat, too. It’s just not going to happen. It’s the Sabbath, after all.

They mean it.

Recently in the Washington Post, Daniela Deane described the modern Sabbath like this:

“Shabbat’s spirit is essentially joyful. It’s a day of rest, and freedom from everyday responsibilities. An oasis of calm to spend with family and close friends. A day to get dressed up, eat well (under Jewish law, every Jew must eat three meals on the Sabbath), take a nap, have sex with your spouse, go for a walk, play with the kids. Strolling and playing are encouraged.”

A very experienced minister, Jewish scholar and friend of ours has said that missing Sabbaths is detrimental to the health of our bodies. The lack of rest over time can cause you to become weak, opening the door for illness. You could find yourself flat on your back, unable to leave home. At that point, your only option is to rest. She calls these recovery times “forced Sabbaths.”

Your body will get its rest one way or another.

It’s better to rest God’s way.

It’s better to have regular Sabbaths. God intended for you to have 52 of them each year. Are you taking them? You need them more than you could possibly know.

You really should take a Sabbath this weekend. Plan it now. Set it aside.

Enjoy your rest.

Shabbat Shalom.

Need a break? Push the reset button.

February 7, 2012 in burnout, Rest, work with 2 Comments

Tired? Frazzled? Wanna get away? You may not need a vacation, sabbatical or extended anything. You may just need to push the reset button.

Like most constantly running machines, you have a reset button. You may have forgotten it’s there, but it’s there. Everybody has one. Sometime or another we all need to push the reset button.

It’s available every day. The problem is, we forget to push it. Or we forget we can push it. Or we forget it exists. But make no mistake, there IS a reset button.

It’s easy to push, too.

There are things you can do today, at work, school or home that can take the edge off your pace and give you a break. None of them take more than a few minutes. None of them are impossible, or even hard for that matter – but they’ll make a huge difference in your perspective. Do them often enough, and you’ll find yourself in a better place, in less need of an extended getaway.

Here are some doable ways to push the reset button today, right where you are. Try one or more of these throughout the course of your day:

Take a deep breath
Look away from your computer screen
Get off the phone for 3 minutes
Take a break
Leave the room
Sit quietly
Stare at the ceiling for a minute
Read a scripture
Take a walk

Do it. Push the reset button. I dare you.

Put these to use and let us know how they’re working for you.

Leave a comment in the comments section below.

5 Lessons From My Sabbatical

November 7, 2011 in choices, priorities, Rest with 3 Comments

We went on a short getaway last summer to rest and refresh. I fully intended to take some of that time to write and be creative. I thought we would just take a few days away, and step back into life as usual.

Not so much.

Here we are, five months later, and I am just now writing my first blog since our “little getaway.” It’s not that I forgot I had a blog. I felt it talking to me almost every day, at least in the beginning of my hiatus. It’s not that I didn’t feel the responsibility to this tribe. I thought about you often during the break.

I took a sabbatical from blogging for several reasons. I had run out of things to say. My “day job” as a pastor was demanding more of my attention, thought and prayer life. I was tired. I lacked focus. I needed some time. I needed real refreshing. I wanted more family time.

Five months is a long time to think about stuff, and honestly it took quite a while to even get back to ground zero. I have some takeaways from my sabbatical that I hope will help you.

1. Adrenaline is a powerful drug.

The human body is amazing, giving us the ability to power through situations and sometimes even gain superhuman strength from a hormone called adrenaline. It was meant to help us in times of crisis. I was living on it. Wrong answer.

2. Learn when and how to graciously say “no.”

I am a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me. Added to that, I like helping people. That has led me to seasons of over-commitment and overloading my plate. I can’t do everything. I can’t fix everything. Sometimes “no, thank you” is the right answer. I am learning how and when to pull that card.

3. Pace is more important than I thought.

I want to live a long, healthy life. That will require me to slow down and be more realistic with the tempo of my life. By the end of this year I will have taken more vacation and personal time than in any year previous. I’m embarrassed to say it, but I’ll also be taking my FIRST two-week vacation in my adult life.

4. You can only have a few priorities.

Author and speaker Jim Collins (Good to Great, Built to Last) has said that if you have more than three priorities, you have NO priorities. I have been taking time to pray, think and meditate on what is important to me, and limit my priorities to just a few. I can and should only do my part, and to do it well, I need to be more focused.

5. There’s no place like home.

After my commitment to God, my first and foremost commitment is to my family. Thank God we have a good and healthy one. I want to keep it that way. My family and my home are a shelter and sanctuary for me. I’m more determined than ever to spend quality time with the ones I love the most.

It’s good to have something to say again. It’s good to be with you. It’s good to be back.

Let’s help and learn from one other. Have you had any awakenings this year that will help us? Post a comment and let’s talk!

June 6, 2011 in prayer, Rest with 1 Comment

“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” ~ Mark 6:31 (NIV)

As you read this, we are taking a few days at the beach to rest and recover. The work of ministry is intense, even more so in these days. We are taking some time with God and each other to let the sound of the waves wash over us and stare into the Gulf of Mexico. I do some of my best thinking here. I also do some of my best playing here. For me, it is therapy.

Don’t worry, I’m not blogging from this mini vacation.

I wrote this before I left to remind you to make time to rest, too. Make time for your families. Make time to recover and enjoy the presence of God.

God is in this rest business, you know.

“…Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” ~ Matthew 11:28-30

See you soon. I’ll be rested and ready.

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